Yosemite Sam

With the world spending November honoring real-life Movember moustache growth from those otherwise clean shaven, we think it’s only appropriate to shout out those who’ve spent every single day of their lives with a moustache. But are there people who have always had a moustache? you may ask. The answer is yes, and we’re here to honor them.

So without further ado… here are our five favorite fictitious figures featuring facial fuzz.

5. Cleveland Brown (Family Guy)
Quahog’s favorite mild-manner neighbor comes in our five spot simply for rocking a moustache that looks nearly identical to Ako, our award nominated outie vibrator

4. Swedish Chef
Giving international flavor (literally) to the competition is the list’s only non-animated character—Swedish Chef. This fan favorite Muppet is the only figure we know with a fluffy moustache completely identical to his eyebrows.

3. Wario
While the world’s most famous Brooklynese plumber undoubtedly has a nostalgia-triggering ‘stache, his arch nemesis, Wario, raises the bar with a zany, ominous pencil-thinner that mimics his mentality.

2. Ned Flanders
While he might be a Bible-thumping evangelical, Ned Flanders’s pimp daddy 70s porn star broom leads us to believe that behind closed doors, Maude Flanders was one lucky lady.

1. Yosemite Sam
The looniest of the Looney Toons, this gun-slingin’ hillbilly’s fire-red moustache extends from his eyebrows to his boots, giving him the most epic toon moustache of all time.

Now that the toons have had their time, let’s turn our attention to those who not only wear the real deal, but wear it for a cause. PicoBong’s Movember ‘Stache Dash is already one-third over, and our contestants have all sprouted honorable growth. Before you get back to your cartoons, be sure to check out their ‘Stache Dash progress.

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