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So, you want to learn how to eat someone out. Maybe you’ve given a shot before, or maybe you’ve got a partner who’s not as partial to your oral sex techniques; either way there’s nothing wrong with looking for a little help.

Good oral sex is something that is made and broken by enthusiasm, but an understanding of anatomy doesn’t hurt. Because everyone has different degrees of sensitivity in our erogenous zones, there is no single, one-size-fits-all method to cunnilingus (or any other sex act, really) but acquainting yourself with the different techniques (and trying them on your partner) is the best way to start!

1.Trace Their Lips

This is a great technique when starting to eat someone out, and if your partner is extremely sensitive, it may be all they need to reach a clitoral orgasm.

Using the lip of your tongue, use light (but wet) flicks from the bottom of the labia minora and majora up to the clitoris and then down again, alternating with light kisses on the inside of the thighs, either side of their vulva, and where the two meet.

Simultaneously, you can use your fingers to caress their nipples. After a warm up, you can move to making circles with your fingers and tongue upon the clitoris (or wherever you get the most enthusiastic response). Try clockwise and counter-clockwise, and take note which they seem to prefer (or just ask at a moment when your mouth is less busy).

2.Get Focused

Many people enjoy pressure and rapid movement around the entirely of the vulva but as the clitoris is the most nerve-packed (and thus most sensitive) bit, you’ll want to pay it extra attention. You can make a gentle sucking motion with your lips, but also alternate with lip on lip sucking and an intense but slowly sliding tongue. Communication―verbal or otherwise― with your partner is key so they can let you know which motion they’re most enjoying, so pay attention!

We also recommend introducing some shallow finger play. Focus on stimulation of their G-spot rather than penetrating very far. Just use your 2 fingers to pull backward against the front wall of their vagina as if you were trying beckoning someone. Better yet, try a small vibrator!

3.On the Edge of Their Seat

If your partner likes to switch from light to hard and back again, or seems like they want to take charge of the experience rather than sit back and relax, this is an ideal oral sex position.

Lie back and put your arms under and behind their thighs as they straddle your face. They can lift themselves up for light flicks of your tongue or (carefully) grind if they want a more intense sensation. While they’re facing you, you add finger or vibe stimulation to their clit if it’s exposed, or let them do so while you cup their breasts or grab and spank their ass while enjoying the view

4.Back it Up

Rimming can be a divine addition to oral sex, though there are some considerations to take.

Firstly, adding a water-based lubricant can make this much more comfortable for giver and receiver. As well, it is best to use a dental dam (or cut latex glove or condom) as a barrier between mouth and anus so as to prevent the possible spread of bacteria when switching back and from vaginal stimulation.

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