First phone sex, then sexting and Skype sex and now thousands of sex themed phone applications. My, oh my, what has Gangnam Style done to this world? And knowing that you’re far too busy playing Temple Run 2 to sift through all those sassy new apps out there, PicoBong has gone and taken the liberty to present you with the top five sex and relationship apps.
Here they are!
What it does: Evaluates your sexual performance
How it works: Turn the app on and place your phone on the surface you plan to get frisky on. Go about your business as usual and, when you’re done, read it and (hopefully not) weep! Passion uses your phones motion sensors and mic to evaluate your stamina and “activity level” and rate your freak factor from 1-10.
What it does: Boosts your sex drive via sound
How it works: According to neurophysiologists, when one is exposed to specific binaural beats, two tones of slightly different frequencies, one in each ear, it helps reduce stress and ramp up your sex drive. According to Sex Drive, listening to the apps scientifically chosen binaural beats, will boost that already bubbling sex drive of yours.
What it does: Help you keep all of your girlfriends happy
How it works: For the pickup artist in all of us, Girlfriend Keeper is a relationship-aiding application that sends automatically generated, less-than-personal messages to “special” women in a man’s life. The app stores important dates as well as physical attributes like eye and hair color and sends automated massages as often as the user sees fit. Think: “KELLY, I can’t believe it’s been 35 DAYS since we met. I miss looking into those pretty GREEN eyes of yours.”
What it does: Helps you romantically KIT with your one significant other
How it works: For those more faithful, Couple is a cutesy app for two that offers you and your boo much-needed cyber privacy. Unlike other social media apps like Facebook or WhatsApp, Couple promotes intimate sharing of moments, important past and future dates, wish lists and the like. It even has a feature allowing you to real-time “thumbkiss.” All together now, “Awww…”
What it does: Walks you through the Kama Sutra & tracks your progress
How it works: Neatly breaking the bygone bible of the bump and grind down by position, category and mood, and allowing you to bookmark positions and tick ‘em off as you’ve tried ‘em, iKamaSutra is a must have pocket playbook for every playboy and girl. Filled with hundreds of illustrations, you can star your favorites, choose a position at random and track your progress on your way to becoming a tantric love guru.
With that said, it’s time to (literally) leave you to your own devices as you continue to utilize technology to explore the web of sexual possibilities.