Airplane Sex

So lately you’ve been feeling been-there-done-that toward all things sex. The Kama Sutra reads like a Dr. Seuss book. You’ve managed to keep your bedroom hot in spite of the cold, and you’ve even gotten away with having sex in public and discretely traveling with sex toys. You’ve tried it all, right? Not so fast, bucko. Until you’ve have airplane sex, you’re miles away from claiming your seat on the coveted ‘moan throne.’

But how to get away with it? And when? And how?! Knowing you’d need a co-pilot on this one, we’ve gone ahead and Q&A’d everything you need to know about getting down while you’re up, up and away!

Why?
People have sex in planes for the same reason people jump out of planes—adrenaline and bragging rights. Couple the intense fear and bodily rush of doing something dangerous with a racy, taboo, bucket-list topping adventure and you’ve got major life experience points at stake.

Where?
The plane’s rear bathroom. Period. It’s the only place that ensures full privacy and puts you in control of a door lock. Authoritative reactions to airplane sex will vary from country to country. However, an airplane cabin is a public place, and having sex in public is, ummm, well, illegal. According to British law, for example, even “sex in a bathroom which the public has access to” can land you in the slammer.

When?
The only sane way to pull this one off is on a long, overseas flight after dinner when the lights go down, and everyone reclines into sleep. Wait until there is at least a five minute interval where no one has gotten out of their seat and, one-by-one, sneak to the plane’s rear bathroom.

How?
First off, carefully. Position wise, your most comfortable (aka least uncomfortable) bet is standing with her facing the door and him entering from behind. Regardless of position, however, bring alone an air sickness bag. If someone comes a knockin’, pretend that one of you is sick, and the other is just being a caring partner.

As you can see, no admission into the Mile High Club is an easy one. Like all great life achievements, one must boldly overcome fear, systematically calculate risk and hope for a little luck. In the end, however, once you’re in the MHC, you’re in for life!

‘Bone’ voyage!

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