Valentine's Day Heart

If February 14 leaves you feeling imprisoned, consider yourself celebrating Valentine’s Day in its purest form. Seriously. You see, St. Valentine was jailed for performing marriage rites to Roman soldiers and couples persecuted by the Roman Empire, both forbidden to marry. In a letter to his daughter from prison, he signed it “from your Valentine,” and with the stroke of a pen, a martyr was born.

So before you start showering us with waterworks for being single this Valentine’s Day, remember that even ‘ol St. V ended up in the slammer for his love of love. Furthermore, Picobong is here to help you break out of your metaphorical, mental prison by serving up its top five optimism-charged bullet points for somber singles to keep in mind.

Valentine’s Day is really just another day.
February 14 is exactly 24 hours long—no longer or shorter than any other calendar day, and it comes and goes just the same. If the day of red leaves you feeling blue, you’re not alone: 25% of women consider Valentine’s Day to be the most disappointing holiday of the year. In addition, 80% felt that their partner did not make an adequate effort in 2012. Let’s face it: Cupid’s coming is a day of sky-high expectations, so high, they’re often impossible to meet. If sky-high sexual expectations are what you’re after; however, look no further than Kiki Bling—the world’s first blinged-out vibrator.

It’s a perfect day to reinforce friendships.
If you feel like you’re the only one rollin’ solo this Valentine’s Day, well, that’s simply not true at all. You’re surrounded by single friends, family members, colleagues and the like. Spearhead an initiative to get all your single friends together on February 14. Throw a party, organize a dinner or simply take a great friend out and let them know how much they mean to you. At the end of the day, realize that if it weren’t for being alone on Valentine’s Day—you’d miss this opportunity to tell the people you platonically love just how special they are.

There’s a singles party all around you!
If all the lovebirds are nestled up in their nuptial, nocturnal nests on Valentine’s Day, that means that everyone out and about around town is (ding! ding! ding!) single! What more could you ask for than a room full of eligible co-eds?! And this setting leaves you with no excuse to not approach some sexy strangers. Don’t know what to say? Here’s a tip—ask them if they know the origin of Valentine’s Day. When they say they don’t, recite our tale of Saint Valentine and feel the ice break beneath you.

A relationship isn’t the answer to all of life’s problems.
Fantasizing about a future relationship is just that—a fantasy. Maintaining a relationship is a very real, ongoing, ever-evolving challenge, and it’s far from the key to everlasting happiness. Comedian Christian Finnegan once said, “Relationships are like garage sales, they look really cool from far away but once you’re there you realize it’s just a bunch of shit you don’t need.” We don’t mean to get all deep on you now, but remember: your life satisfaction will never come from an external entity—it can only come from within.

The world is your oyster!
Start using “free” instead of “single” to describe yourself. Being single means that the world’s your oyster—sitting there just waiting to be shucked. Ever been to a family party where a wine-stained teeth-havin’ aunt hasn’t told you she should’ve taken more risks when she was young and single? Neither have we, but there’s lots to learn from your elders. Study abroad, start an awesome group (a real one, not a Facebook one), throw on a backpack and volunteer around South America for a few months (keeping our sex toy travel tips in mind, of course)—when you’re married with children, don’t say we didn’t nudge you.

Valentine’s Day, like all things in life, is what you make of it. And the truth is, no one has a life full of February 14ths that reads like the last chapter of a Nicholas Sparks book. We all eventually have Valentine’s Days of reflection rather than of affection—if this is you this year, don’t wish the day away—embrace it, and turn your scars into stars.

Go get ‘em, tiger!

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