To give yourself the absolute reassurance that your headache is not only the result of a booze-induced evening of festivities but of a dire cancerous tumour, consult the internet for health information.
Keeping in the spirit of holiday round ups, a recent search for interesting health facts yielded one from MSNBC’s health channel ‘Vitals’ which their talented writer deemed the ‘Top 10 Cringe-Worthy Health Stories of 2011’.
Below, Part 1 of 2011’s most shocking things that may be lurking in your mouth, on your coffee table and down under the deep blue seas.
1. Men aren’t the only ones to be quick on the trigger
According to obscure findings from an even more obscure Portuguese survey, because 14 percent of women reported to have occasional “early orgasms during sex”, researchers are expanding into new female premature ejaculation studies in the hopes that one day this groundbreaking discovery may be deemed an “official sexual dysfunction”.
2. American Women Watch A Lot of TV
This one is actually a nod at the overwhelming majority of American females who approve the use of vibrators, but we all know it’s really just an indication of the vast number of single, middle-aged women out there who love nothing more than cuddling up to the tube with a gallon of chocolate chip ice cream.
3. All Hail the Yoga Marketing Chieftains
Now ‘om’-ing is not only beneficial for those looking to uphold the appearance that they workout and possess some praise-worthy level of spirituality, but it will do wonders for the old mojo…apparently.
4. Our Ancestors Cross-bred
Hominids with Neanderthals, hominids with Denisovans, sometimes hominids with both—ancient cross-species threesome, anyone?
5. Teenage Boys Still Love Blowjobs
Surprising as it may seem, teenage boys still prefer oral sex over the regular kind. Just to be safe, you know.
Don’t forget to tune in for Part 2, lingering eerily just around the corner.
To simply melt away the woe that all this atrocity has caused, peruse our mellowing products page and check out Part 2 later on in the week for the full story.