October 21st is International Fisting Day, we thought we’d take the time to explain one of more commonly misunderstood sexual acts–so let’s plunge right in.
What is Fisting?
When you’re just starting out, it’s almost more important to start with what fisting isn’t; namely, it isn’t making a literal fist and shoving it into someone. (Hey, we love sexy euphemisms as much as the next person, but they sure can make things confusing!)
Fisting is the act of putting your whole hand into someone’s vagina (or anus), but rather than using a fist, you actually use more of an aerodynamic, fingers-pressed-together shape. Try making a duck head with your hand and then straightening it so it’s straight in line with your arm. l
Is that all there is to it? Not so fast—literally!
Fisting is a much, much more delicate art than the name would suggest. In fact, if you’ve been frantically and secretly Googling advice on fisting, you’ll have found out that a lot of people describe fisting as one of the most intimate sexual acts there is, and rightly so; when done correctly, it can provide some mind-blowing pleasure—but it requires a lot of trust, and even more patience.
Is Fisting Weird? How Do I ask My Partner to Fist Me?
Fisting is one of those sexual acts that a lot of people joke about, and even more people assume only niche adult actors are willing to do, never mind enjoy it. However, as more and more sexual taboos are becoming, well, less taboo, you’ll learn that a lot of those sexual acts you’ve taken to be punch lines are actually something that a lot of people get down to. Remember, never yuck someone’s yum, even if it’s not your thing!
That being said, fisting is, at least anecdotally, more popular among women who sleep with other women―though of course that doesn’t mean you should jump into your first girl-on-girl encounter with fists-a-flailing, because it certainly isn’t for everyone.
The key to fisting―and indeed any sexual act―is to communicate clearly. If you want to be on the receiving end, it can be as simple as using your own hand to guide your partner to insert more fingers while fingering you, or straight up ask.
If you’re worried about fisting being ‘bad’ for your vagina; keep in mind this is the same part of your body that is designed to let an 8+ lb human through it and in fact, will expand to about 200% of its original size when you’re properly aroused.
You can give yourself some practice with larger toys if you like, but as you’ll see in your guide below, full arousal makes all the difference when it comes to trying fisting for the first time!
How to Fist Someone
To keep things simple, let’s stick to some easy do’s & don’ts:
DO cut your nails and wash your hands before fisting someone―we kinda hope you always do this before touching your or another person’s junk though.
DON’T try to fist someone without explicitly making sure they want you to, and NOT in a ‘they mentioned it seemed hot once last week so now I’m going for it’ sort of way; use your words!
DO take off any jewelry and use a latex glove if you and your partner aren’t fluid-bonded.*
DON’T skip foreplay; the receiving partner needs to be totally relaxed.
DO use a TON of lube―even more than you think―on both your hand and your partner.
DON’T put all your fingers in at once; start with two and slowly add as your partner indicates.
DO back off if your partner clenches or expresses any pain; that’s a sensitive part of the body!
DON’T make large ‘pumping’ motions; every movement of your hand will be intense so they probably aren’t necessary!
DO keep a positive attitude if it doesn’t go exactly as planned. Sometimes are bodies don’t cooperate even if we are excited to try something, and fisting can take some practice!
It’s important to keep a positive attitude and be willing to switch sex acts if it’s just not happening―for some people, fisting won’t be physically possible. And, if you do fall in love with fisting, then October 21st might become your new favorite holiday!
*Fluid-bonded means that you and your partner are the only people who are ‘sharing bodily fluids.’ Polyamorous people may have many partners, but only have unprotected relations with one, fluid-bonded partner.
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